Charlie Manuel’s The State of the Phillies

Interviewer: “Charlie, what can you say about the current state the Phillies are in?”

Charlie: “Tricuits.  You know? those snacks them little kids like? Yea we’re like them.  You pour a little milk on them and initially they can hold their weight, but if you keep waiting a little, to about the eighth inning or so, they start to fall apart.”

Interviewer: “Strange…Ok…What make you put Carlos Ruiz in the cleanup spot?”

Charlie: “It was really a no brain-er. What did you think I was going to put that fuckstick Ty Wiggington in there?”

Interviewer: “Not sure why you would. But any explanation for Ty Wiggington’s failures with runners in scoring position?”

Charlie: “Raisins.”

Interviewer: “Char-  um.. yea ok, well what future plans do you have to revive the club?”

Charlie: “Better pitching, and better hitting. That’s what wins you ball games. I don’t know why you asked me that, it seems quite simple.”

Interviewer: “…”

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